You may have noticed that my blog got a complete and total makeover, and has a new name and a new sense of “journey” to it. I really don’t know where my life will go from here. As I am getting seriously settled into seminary and into a clear-cut routine, I can tell you that my living will be focused on serving God and being faithfully obedient to him. I couldn’t get onto the internet, so I decided to write this on Word for the time being, and when I had access to a WiFi connection you’ll be able to read it.
I love the black color…It has that dark, gothic kind of feel to it. I want to go for a deep, serious looking blog, and I believe that a dark color will help emphasize my thoughts better.
When I moved out to Texas, it felt like I was starting over again. Like there was this massive restart button pushed on my life, and you have no idea how true that is for me; especially now. I came out to Texas with the intent on going back to Japan. Well, I am sitting here, unconvinced of that intent. Because I spent some time talking with people, and had experiences where I had to listen to their perspective on what happens when you pray out of selfish ambition rather than humble obedience.
“God, I will faithfully serve you as a missionary only in Japan”
Well I see the problem right there is that I was not willing to compromise, and God is showing me that there are possible compromises in the flow of life. I have been given opportunities to serve with a local church and the staff of this church have informed me of the existence of several Asian people groups (none of which were Japanese) living very close to the church, so I was left to wonder, “God if I am called to the Japanese people, then why is it that there aren’t any Japanese people close by to the school” so I am convinced that God is telling me that maybe I should close the book on Japan, and open a bigger book, the book of Asia.
I wrote this “Letter to God” after having read a chapter from “EAT, PRAY, LOVE” in which Elizabeth Gilbert wanted to cry out to God for help (and keep in mind, she isn’t a believer. So reality is, this should really be classified as a prayer, since I have done that numerous times before.
You know that I want to have a better image of myself and after everything that I have been through in my life, I am ready for a fresh start. I have come out to Texas by faith, with very little resources that I personally can provide for myself. I am being humbled day by day, as I am being taught daily to trust in your provision for my life. Wherever you lead me I will go, whatever you have me do, I will do. I know I feel called to Japan, but I prayed in this sense, God send me to nowhere but Japan. And on that Thursday night (September 23, 2010), I was sitting in the presence of a man who prayed a similar prayer, Lord don’t send me to Japan, and you send him there. If you decide to change that location to someplace like Burma or Thailand, and lead people to Jesus, then reveal that to me. I am open to do whatever you call me to do and be whoever you want me to be. I have been acting out of the selfishness of my own heart, and you must teach me that you are the solid ground I must be trusting in. Give me diligence to continually serve you. I don’t quite understand what you are doing in my life, but right now, your actions are speaking louder than words. You are providing for me, you are showing me that… “NO” I can’t do things on my own; I need you; I need your help to do all the things that I want to do in my life for every desire, everything about my life is something you have blessed me with. So I ask you to take down walls I have built up and reshape me into the person you have brought me to Texas to become. I am ready to be remade Lord.
In Jesus’ name I do pray…Amen.
On a personal note…I have come to the difficult decision to end the Year-long photo journal known as the “365 Project” and will give my blog a new year-long task when I work my way through the Bible in 2011. I may have pictures on my blog, but those will be topically related rather than for a daily occurrence. I was doing the project because I saw someone else do it, and I want to do something original, something that hasn’t been done before. Who knows, maybe I will review a song everyday or something.
“The year-long playlist” – Go through a song on iTunes every day for an entire year. Because when I did the Photo project, there wasn’t the guarantee I would be around to take a picture or write about it.
So you will read up more on my blog tomorrow with Asia Chronicles post #2, after I have been through membership class at my church and you will see what that has been like.
GRACE AND PEACE!