Friday, November 26, 2010

Drumsticks and Cranberry Sauce (A Blog Chronicle for Thanksgiving)… (Part 1) WEDNESDAY

Where does being thankful really start? Does it start with the fact that we have everything we could possibly need in life because we live in America, or does it go even further than that? God is the creator, the sustainer, protector, provider, and as such our greatest form of thankfulness should come from knowing him.
I haven’t been the most thankful of people, especially during this past semester. I just started seminary. Yeah, you have read all of my blog posts during the summer, and you saw how excited I was when I was leaving Florida to move to Texas, but then when I got here, and I realized it was a game of “hurry up and wait”, everything changed. I get to school, thinking of having an apartment, of not living in the dorms, and then once again, I am found in a dorm room with a roommate, and having to act like I am in college all over again. Frustration sets in even more, as I see everything occur with everyone else around me and it seems like I am left out. I feel inadequate, and a leech on the backside of society. I have almost 4 years of experience working in restaurants, and there are literally no jobs anywhere. I applied to 3 different Chick-Fil-As and never heard back anything from any of them. I questioned what God was doing. God opened the door wide open for me to be at Southwestern Seminary. I was NOT planning to go to seminary after college, I was thinking, I would be on the mission field, that I would be serving overseas somewhere. God’s plans are so much better than we could possibly imagine, and I see that now. I was afraid for myself, afraid that God would leave me without any hope for supporting myself, but then God showed me, that it is okay to be happy, to be without everything that you have wanted for yourself.

I am thankful today to realize that God is working out the details for a plan for me, and I am working to get to that plan.

Check back tomorrow…

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

7 Months of God's Goodness

For those of you who don't realize why the 17th of November is a significant day in my life, let me explain: on April 17th, 2010, I had my heart attack and was hospitalized in Louisville, KY as a result. God has brought my life to a wonderfully blessed place. I would like you to get an idea of how far I have come.

The picture on the left was taken in September of 2008. I weighed over 300 pounds. I had no desire to change my life for any reason. I simply did not care about anything.

Over a year later, I am in my senior year of college, getting ready to make a transition into seminary, and God took control of my life. He took my very life itself and hung it in the balance between life and death. I didn't realize that having something taken away from me would change my life forever. The picture on the left was taken on Halloween of this year, some 50 pounds of weight loss later.

I started to take my life seriously, my health, everything that would glorify God, I had to realize that life itself is a gift that only God can give us. When we look at our lives, what has transpired, we must say to God, you have redeemed me, you have given your son as a gift to save our lives from the fires of hell.

We need tp be in a constant state of rejoicing in the life that we do have, rather than trying to achieve the life that we WANT to have. Believe me when I say that I have been there, when I have said to God, I wanted so much more for myself, but you have the greatest desire of all for me, God help me to see that your ways are perfect, and are higher than mine.

I have spent the entire semester, wondering what God has in mind for me. I don't think at the present time I will learn what that is, but God has something incredible just waiting for me, and I have to trust that in time, he will reveal everything to me.

Lord I pray for patience, and clarity, that you would give me the desires of my heart, and that your will for my life would start to be revealed. If it is not the right time Lord, comfort my heart and teach me to trust only in you, for that is where my happiness lies. I trust in you Lord, All the Days of my Life.



Sunday, November 7, 2010

Aspirations from Austin

I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.
I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—
the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there's one other thing I remember,
and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:

God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He's all I've got left. (THE MESSAGE)

This is taken from the context of Lamentations 3:19-24....I was hearing this this morning in church while I am still in Austin. There came a point in this message where so much was relating to me I had to start thinking about what god is doing. I have been writing a journal to go along with my class on Jonathan Edwards; and there was just so much I want to write in there on this passage and on how I have been feeling this semester. It has been an inner struggle for me. Things with school are typical of me right now, I don't have the greatest of grades, but I know I am making it. You know, an inner struggle is worse because God has ordained everything to be in its proper place in your life, you can see he is doing amazing works all around you, but YOU are the one doubting. I read the part of the verse "I remember it all, oh how I remember well what it felt like hitting the bottom". Yeah pretty much when you get to the bottom, you know what that is like, and I sincerely pray that if you are reading this, you understand that it is okay to hit the bottom. God will be there to pick you up and carry you out of that place. It may not be the greatest time getting out of the bottom, but you will get up again.

Blessings to you this week.

School is winding down and then it will slowly pick up again.